BATON ROUGE, LA – After discussions and one-on-one’s with a number of employees have called “vastly under-qualified candidates”, it is being reported that interviews for the position of the LSU tiger mascot aren’t going too well thus far.

With the new college football season fast approaching, LSU is keen to replace the recently departed Mike VI. However the interviewees that have been analyzed so far are believed to be well below par.

LSU Operations Manager Kathy Rogers explained her frustrations.

“Mike VI was a well-qualified candidate with extensive experience in this field of work”, she said, “We’re yet to see one resume as impressive as his was. In fact the only actual tiger we’ve had in for an interview so far is the one from that truck stop, but he was looking for a salary far higher than what we can currently offer.”

“We’ve interviewed dogs painted as tigers, nutria rats painted as tigers, a guy painted as a tiger – hell we even had a giraffe painted as a tiger. And look, we’re open to the idea of not actually having a tiger, tiger – we’re definitely an equal opportunities employer – but these folks just aren’t doing it for us.”

“We’re going to keep on looking though and hopefully the right candidate will walk through that door sooner rather than later.”


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