BATON ROUGE, LA – Realizing that it’s probably going to be exponentially easier, the Louisiana Department of Transportation announced plans today to begin announcing when the I-10 is open, instead of when it is closed.

The stretch of interstate has now reached 387 consecutive years in which at least one section of it had been closed due to either a wreck, construction work, or somehow a combination of both.

LaDOTD spokesman Mark Judge explained the decision.

“It’s a no-brainer”, he said, “We’re investing so much time into letting people know when the I-10 is closed that we’re just going to let y’all know when it’s open from now on.”

“My advice would be to wake up every morning under the fairly safe assumption that the I-10 is closed and is backed up for at least 20 miles. Hold off on all your plans. We’ll let you know when it’s open. If we re-open it all, that is.”

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