BATON ROUGE, LA – New details have emerged today, pertaining to Donald Trump’s event in Baton Rouge on Friday.
According to local news outlets, Trump will be visiting the area as part of his ‘Thank You’ tour, however his main concern will be ensuring that every one of the 16-million boxes of Play-Doh that he handed out during Augusts floods has been put to use.
It is believed that most residents across the Baton Rouge area are now scrambling to try and find their boxes in order to build something – anything, as to not anger the president-elect. A small minority are also fearing for their lives after cashing-in on the opportunity by selling their Play-Doh sets on eBay.
Charlie Gould, a spokesperson for the Trump administration, explained that they are all looking forward to the visit, and outlined plans.
“Mr. Trump is very much looking forward to re-visiting an area that was so terribly affected by flooding just four months ago”, said Gould, “It is a place that remains very close to his heart. Mr. Trump graciously donated 16-million boxes of Play-Doh and he will be visiting every single household that received one to ensure that it was fully utilized. Any unopened boxes will disappoint him greatly.”
“We expect to see houses rebuilt out of Play-Doh, cars built out of Play-Doh, food cooked using Play-Doh, flood prevention systems constructed from Play-Doh, newborn babies moulded from Play-Doh, oil and chemical pipelines made out of Play-Doh, as well as other objects and items made out of Play-Doh. Mr. Trump doesn’t like to see his money go to waste.”
He will also be speaking at the DOW chemical plant inside a state-of-the-art, fully-refurbished, aircraft hangar that, according to his entourage, “puts the Superdome to shame”.
“Obviously we expect this aircraft hangar to be built out of Play-Doh. Maybe a nice bright orange color. Either way we’re all very excited to visit the area.”