NEW YORK, NY – The state of Louisiana received great news this weekend, as President-elect Donald Trump confirmed that he has “yuge” plans for the economically-struggling state of Louisiana by being the first state to mine for Play-Doh.
The statement came in his 60 Minutes interview for CBS. And Trump – who famously, and generously donated over fifty-million boxes of Play-Doh to victims of the Louisiana floods in August – said that he sees brighter days ahead for its residents.
“You look at Louisiana, and the poor folks down there who have been suffering through the lack of drilling”, he said, “But we’re going to bring jobs back to them. We need to diversify their economy. Sure, we’ll lift the oil industry back up off of its knees, but we need to look at other options. My advisers – and believe me they know their stuff, great people – they tell me that we need to start mining for Play-Doh. It’s out there, it’s a precious material that we can use. Play-Doh can play a yuge role in the future of U.S. infrastructure, and I want Louisiana to spearhead it.”
“And you know what else? We’re going to see if we can abolish child labor laws for this. My advisers tell me that this stuff is so easy to mine for. So easy. Even kids can do it. It’ll keep allowance money in the pockets of parents, whilst these 7, 8, 9-year old kids can go out and earn money the American way, through hard work. Everyone can contribute to making America great again.”
“Hell, they even have multi-story buildings made out of it. Big, beautiful, bright purple and orange buildings. Unbelievable.”
He also commented that it was heartening to see that his previous Play-Doh donation was being put to use.
“I get letters from folks down there all the time. I get Melania to read them to me because there’s some big words in them sometimes, but she tells me that the people down there are grateful. They’ve used a lot of the Play-Doh for some great projects. They’ve filled in potholes, they’ve lined the coast with it for sea defense. Hell, they even have multi-story buildings made out of it. Big, beautiful, bright purple and orange buildings. Unbelievable. You have to see them. And there’s big money in it. We want to put money back into the pockets of Louisiana folk. And Play-Doh is a bit part of my plans. It’s going to be great.”
Donald Trump will appear in his first extensive post-election interview Sunday on “60 Minutes” at 7 p.m. ET/PT