BATON ROUGE, LA – A mere 30 minutes after landing in Baton Rouge to inspect flood damage, President Obama really took it to republican presidential candidate Donald Drumpf by opening up the cargo hold of Air Force One and beginning to unload hundreds of thousands of boxes of Lego Star Wars.
Clearly trying to one-up Drumpf’s effort of dishing out Play-Doh, President Obama briefly announced that every single resident of Louisiana would be receiving at least one of the boxes and hoped that they’d get hours of enjoyment out of it.
“Find me one person on this planet who doesn’t love both Lego and Star Wars”, he said whilst unloading the precious cargo, “Play-Doh? Give me a break. It smells weird and it gets boring after an hour or so. This is the real deal right here folks. Get to building some tie fighters or X-wing’s at 9am and it’ll be 9pm before you know it.”
He also went one step further by announcing that he’ll even ensure that every household receives a packet of Lego Booster Bricks, once every three months for the next year.
“Everyone loses bricks now and then”, he explained, “So here is my promise to you. I’ll ensure that not only do you get this Lego Star wars set right now, but I’ll send you new booster bricks on a steady basis for the next 12 months. We’re all in this together.”
It was also announced today that Hillary Clinton would also be making a donation in the form of fun noodles and water guns, in a desperate attempt to be “down with the kiddos”.
“Yo, dudes”, she said in a Facebook video, “H-Rod here. Heard you had a little bit of water. Well your rad candidate is hooking you super-coolios up with some water noodles and Supersoakers! Cowabunga, right?! Awesome! Hope you’re all hanging tight!”
It is yet to be seen if Clinton will be making a personal appearance.