STATE FARM HQ, LA – Noticing the excessive baggage under his eyes and the empty crushed-up Red Bull cans strewn carelessly around his desk space, colleagues of Jake from State Farm confirmed this morning that it looks like he’s pretty much running on fumes at the moment.

Jake from State Farm, who is usually noted to be in a chipper mood and always happy to talk to random guys on the phone at all hours of the morning, is alleged to have been dealing with countless insurance claims from every corner of the state of Louisiana for almost 48-hours straight now. The legality of this is obviously debatable, however his dedication can not be questioned.

“He looks like he’s on another planet”, commented colleague and cubicle-neighbor Stephanie Jury, “I’ve never seen him like this. He’s twitching incessantly and keeps drooling from the corners of his mouth. We’ve tried prodding and poking him but he’s not responding to any actions at all. He’s gone.”

Colleagues also noted that he’d been listening to a Youtube playlist of Rod Stewart’s entire back-catalog, and was already on the fifth play-through.

“We tried to get him to change it up a little bit but he’s having none of it”, explained colleague Dan Simmons, “If you go near the computer turn Rod Stewart off, he growls at you and holds his ball point pen up like a sword. He’s completely out of it. Anyone who’s capable of sitting through that Camouflage album five times is insane. He needs help fast.”

Medics are heading to the scene to assess Jake from State Farm and try and get him to at least take a break or something.


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