LAFAYETTE, LA – Tearful and solemn, Australian Ambassador to the U.S. Joe Hockey confirmed today that the Australian embassy had to be evacuated yesterday after taking on heavy flood waters.

The embassy, known locally as Outback Steakhouse, is located right next to the Vermilion River and took on almost a foot of water after it broke its banks.

Hockey explained that this was a sad time for all in the community.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone in Lafayette, including all our mates who have been evacuated from the ‘Strayan embassy”, he said. “Strewth… many absolutely bonzer discussions and meetings have taken place in that building over a koala burger and a pint of the awld’ amber fluid, many of which have shaped and molded the absolutely ripper friendship of ‘Straya and the United States. We hope that they get back on their feet soon. She’ll be right.”

He also explained that this was the biggest Australian day of mourning in a long time.

“The last time I was this sad was probably when Steve Irwin passed, I reckon”, he said, “I’m a rooted man, mate. I’m as mad as a cut snake. We were even looking into bringing over some kangaroos and possums and stuff to throw a little celebratory shindig, y’know, a barbie or something. Can’t do that now though can we? I’m gutted. But life goes on and these locals are hard as nails, they’ll crack on no worries mate. We’re thinking of ’em.”

The embassy remains closed until further notice.


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