CLEVELAND, OH – Clearly becoming a little bored of sitting around at home and watching election season unravel before him on various news stations, ex-Governor Bobby Jindal made the bold step to roll on into Cleveland, Ohio last night, and sneak his way into the republican convention taking place this week.
“Supriya, I’m going to Cleveland. I’ll be back in a few days”, he was reported to have shouted to his wife as he left the house, “I know I said I wouldn’t go, but maybe I can push for a late presidential bid, or at least try and keep relevant. Maybe grab a cabinet spot if I play my cards right. We’ll see. I’ll see you on Friday. Dishes need doing.”
And upon arriving in Cleveland and checking into the Econo Lodge just off of highway 480, Bobby began drawing up plans on how to get into the convention, ticketless and unnoticed. His chosen method – after watching James Bond’s Moonraker on the 12″ TV in his room that night – was to knock out a laundry guy and steal his outfit.
And he was almost successful in getting onto the stage, had it not been for the quick thinking Chris Christie standing at the stage entrance, making it impossible for Bobby – or anyone else for that matter – to get past.
Event security guard Maxwell Flynn explained the events.
“I got a call on my radio at around 7:50pm saying that they’d found a laundry guy out back, knocked cold and stripped naked”, he said, “They thought someone had stolen his clothes, all James Bond style. We knew we were on the lookout for someone in a blue laundry company outfit. And around 8:15pm, a scuffle broke out near the stage entrance between Chris Christie and some guy in a blue shirt, sunglasses, and mustache. Which was very obviously a fake mustache. We knew we had the culprit.”
And Flynn said he was surprised when they realized who it was.
“We ripped the mustache off like it was Scooby Doo up in here”, he said, “And there he was, Bobby Jindal. He was crazy. He kept screaming something about being the president and how his campaign was back on track, and also kept asking where the buffet table was. Dude was going wild. It took four of us to get him out of there.”
Authorities say that they are unsure where Jindal went after the incident, but will keep the public updated.