LAFAYETTE, LA – In what came an almighty shock to construction and renovation crews earlier today, all four members of Nickelback were found hiding out in a disused changing room inside the Cajundome.
Crews commented that the Canadian ‘rock’ (term used lightly) band appeared to have been there for a fairly long period of time, but seemed both healthy and in good spirits.
Speaking briefly to authorities and a limited number of members of the press (we were there, of course), lead singer Chad Kroeger explained the situation.
“We thought it would just be a good idea to hide out until the next gig here”, he said, “The Cajundome is the only place that’ll book us. And, I mean, we play here every six months so it’s saved on travel expenses. Our manager’s getting us a gig here in October, I think. Look at this photograph – this was from our last gig here. We love Lafayette. And honestly, at this rate, we’ll just try and take up residency here soon to get some better living conditions. It’ll be the best for everyone.”
And Kroeger, who – fun fact – once came second in a karaoke competition at Artmosphere – explained that any worry about them is simply an over-reaction.
“We’ve been fine”, he said, “We’ve had each other, we’ve had a poop bucket, and we’ve had this, uh… inflatable doll, and bike pump… to, y’know, uh… practice singing to. Yep, that’s it. Sexy Simon has been our audience. We’re all in good spirits, and we’ve even written some new material. So if you could leave us be, that would be great. Advanced tickets just $15, y’all!”