BATON ROUGE, LA – Calling the situation “a little unfortunate yet completely understandable”, the LDRM (Louisiana Department of Road Management) have forthwith put their Intelligent Sign Warning System trials on-hold, due to various signs along the I-10 becoming highly sentient and developing anger issues towards the high volume of reckless drivers on the road.

The new system, which will see electronic signage update itself with warning messages without the need for human input, will be capable of detecting wrecks, weather issues, blockages, and other factors that it feels drivers need to be aware of.

However, over the weekend, one sign near Baton Rouge was reported to be self-typing angry messages calling drivers “the worst f-in drivers ever” after a spate of wrecks in the area.

Another sign, located between Crowley and Lafayette, was reported to be overheating due to frustration whilst showing the message “Warning: Three wrecks ahead. But of course, that’s nothing new is it? Because you all drive like GOD DAMN NASCAR RACERS”

And one digital sign on the basin bridge allegedly, and simply, read: “Can’t deal with this sh-t. Gone on vacation. Back in a month.”

Daniel Freemont, from the LDRM, said that the project would be temporarily put on hiatus until the kinks are ironed out.

“Obviously we have some issues to tend to with regards to how easily these intelligent signs are getting frustrated”, he said, “Which is completely understandable. I can’t blame them really. But we’re taking a few steps back with this project to ensure that these signs regain total composure even under the most stressful of circumstances.”

And he said that if they can nail this project, then this would set the standard for the rest of the country.

“If we can get to the point where these signs are able to keep their cool whilst dealing with I-10 drivers, then they’ll be fine everywhere else in the U.S.”, he said, “This is the ultimate litmus test.”


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