BATON ROUGE, LA – A sorry prediction for the future of Louisiana was forecast today, as new stats show that the famed local proverb is wrong – kids who hunt and fish DO steal and deal, and are doing so at an unprecedented level.
The research, conducted by Louisiana Agricultural Crime Prevention (LACP) also uncovered is what they believe to be “the Silk Road of meat and fish” originating from Pecan Island – a vast black market for hunted animals being ran by kids as young as seven.
Leroy Hicks, one of the lead researchers in the investigation, believes that the current slashing of education is the main reason for the seedy activities.
“Obviously the big one is educational cuts”, he said, “Kids are turning to hunting and fishing for the black market because it’s a relatively easy and financially rewarding career. They’re basically going out and shooting ducks and stuff, and meeting up in back alleyways and abandoned parking lots to make the transactions. All of this stuff bypasses all regulations. It’s dark, real dark.”
Hicks also warned the public to be on the lookout for any potential scally-wags, and be wary of black market items.
“Definitely keep an eye out for any shady looking kids in hunting gear”, he said, ” A lot of activity happens in the Pecan Island area, in disused barns and such. But you may also be approached by these kids, with the opportunity to purchase hunted goods from them. Please do report them – we have too many people in the area who don’t want to have to take their bumper stickers off.”