NEW ORLEANS, LA – After spending the best part of 48 hours thinking “Hah, wow. I’m glad that isn’t me on the East Coast…”, residents in NOLA are now cursing their luck after finding themselves in the same predicament due to a freak accident.
The incident occurred this morning at the famous Cafe du Monde, when a Yankee tourist accidentally spilled her bowl of powdered sugar on the floor, leaving the city and the immediate surrounding area completely buried – with mounds reaching up to three feet in certain areas.
The clean-up operation has officially begun, but local authorities are urging residents to stay indoors until the sugar either blows away, or has been eaten.
“This is obviously a dangerous situation”, said Lieutenant Glen Cunningham of the New Orleans Police Department, “Stay inside your home, don’t go out, don’t go to work, don’t do things that aren’t urgent. We’ll do everything we can to take care of this situation. If you really want to help the recovery effort, then make yourself some beignets and see if you can get rid of some of the delicious powder that way.”
And local residents are obviously not happy with the situation.
“This is a nightmare” said local resident and type-2 diabetic Mary Altizer, “It’s only been here for three hours and I’ve already gone through eighteen shots of insulin. I hit my Medicaid deductible within 20 minutes.”
But despite the health concerns, officials said that they expect the clean-up operation to take around a week.
“We’ve got the heavy machinery out to try and move some of this sugary goodness but it’s still going to take a little while. Please be advised that the airport and other major transportation is closed, but Bourbon Street is still open because, well, we can’t let the city go bankrupt.”