LAFAYETTE, LA – A new record has been set today, as a newly-formed, classic Louisiana pothole on Kaliste Saloom Road in Lafayette has officially beaten the Mariana Trench as ‘the lowest point on Earth’.
The Mariana Trench, located in the Western Pacific Ocean, has a surface located almost 7 miles deep. However officials from the U.S. Geological Survey today confirmed that the pothole has a surface located almost 9 miles deep – shattering the current record.
“We’re absolutely staggered by this find” said Jerry Yang of the USGS, “This has blown what we know about the Earths depths wide open. We’re excited to find out what lies at the bottom of it. Besides, y’know, that one cyclist who failed to see the gaping-wide hole in front of him. And that blind guy who tried to cross the street.”
However nearby business owner and Lafayette resident Bobby Ortega isn’t overly impressed, claiming that it’s just a run-of-the-mill Louisiana pothole.
“9 miles deep? Bruh, take a drive out to New Iberia and you’ll see one of those suckers every 30 feet” he said, “That ain’t nothing new. We used to throw stuff down them as kids, and see how long it’d take to make a noise. Took three days once. No word of a lie.”
Research on the pothole continues.