HOUMA, LA – An area grandmother today has had her “super-delicious” king cake voted ‘Best In Louisiana” by immediate family members who are too polite to tell her that it’s actually as dry as Ghandi’s sandals, and actually tastes like sand.

The king cake was lovingly crafted by Mrs. Agnes Gardener, who put her heart and soul into every layer of the cinnamon goodness. But ultimately, and unfortunately, wasn’t quite up to the task that she had set herself.

However her family was more than happy to lead her ever so slightly on, in order to give her a sense of pride in the dying embers of her life.

“I’m tellin’ ya ma’, there ain’t no better king cake in all of Louisiana. You always make the best!” her daughter Evelyn was reported as saying. Unconfirmed reports however suggested that they fed the rest of it to the household dog.* Son-in-law Donny also took the safe road, and allegedly gave a satisfactory-yet-muffled response of “Mmm.”

Her grandson Scott, however, was reported to be a little more straight-forward in his assessment, stating that “This tastes really bad, ‘ma” – although sources say that she never actually heard this comment due to deterioration in her hearing.

It is yet to be confirmed if Mrs. Agnes will be still alive and making another attempt next year.

*The dog is allegedly recovering well.


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